OUCH: Night in the Ruts [Archive] - The Air Tactical Assault Group - Team Fusion

ATAG_Snapper

Jul-06-2012, 20:40

The old mountain man came riding down out of the high country into the valley town below pulling a huge load of furs. The right side of his face was badly swollen, so after dropping the furs off at the trading post, he headed directly to the town dentist. A quick examination revealed an abscessed molar that needed to be extracted immediately. Unfortunately, with the recent snowstorms the last two shipments from the city had failed to reach them, so the dentist was completely out of anaethesia or painkillers of any description. The mountain man told the dentist to never mind and to please be quick about it, since there was a load of furs he had to see to.

Well, the extraction didn't go smoothly. The suspect molar's root structure was pretty deep, so after much effort with pliers and cursing on the dentist's part, the bad tooth began to wiggle only slightly. Through all this the mountain man never flinched, not so much as a groan escaped his mouth ajar. Finally, placing his left foot on the mountain man's shoulder, the dentist gave a mighty, twisting wrench and the stricken molar gradually pulled free amid a sudden gush of blood and pus!

As the dentist was bent over fighting to regain his breath and composure from the effort, the mountain man dispassionately stood up from the chair, wiped his bloodied mouth with his sleeve, and calmly asked what he owed for services rendered. The dentist looked up from his panting and incredulously asked if he was not affected by any of the excruciating pain he MUST have endured a few moments ago. Spitting out blood, the mountain man just gave a quick snort and replied he had only felt True Pain once in his life, and a measly tooth pulling was hardly that!

The dentist stared at his new patient in disbelief and declared all extraction fees were waived if the mountain man would tell when he had felt "True Pain". The mountain man shrugged and said it occurred earlier that winter while he was working his trap lines. At one point Mother Nature called, so he went behind a big log to have a dump. Unbeknownst to him, there was a bear trap just under the snow, so when he relieved himself the trap sprang shut on his dangling privates!!!! The dentist gasped in awe and said he could well believe that would be the moment ANYONE would experience True Pain. Whereupon the mountain man regarded the dentist gravely and said:

"Hell no, Doc. THAT wasn't when I felt True Pain. It was three seconds later......when I ran out of chain!"