Personal Question for Those older than me (almost everyone here)

[71st_AH_Eagle]

Hello everyone. I am Eagle, a 16 year lonely heart. I've never had a true girlfriend but several of my closer friends have been girls but my father is nagging me to get one. I honestly don't really have emotional strength to be able to ask anyone out but here's my question: how did you meet your current wife or girlfriend? Sorry for the question so awkward but I'm just curious. :recon:

Thanks,
Eagle

[ATAG_Septic]

Hi Eagle. (I originally wrote the S-word but realised my error very quickly, close shave).

Now the sage advice from a battle weary veteran;

Women are like buses, you wait ages for one then two arrive together :)

There's no rush, despite what your hormones might demand or anyone might say. Stay cool, live your life your way and see what happens. Be choosy though, after-all, most people only get married two or three times nowadays!

I'm not being casually flippant, just suggesting you might be best not to worry about it all.


Septic.

[Recoilfx]

I met my wife through Dance Dance Revolution in college... Hehe.

Hard to tell a 16 year old to not think about girls - but if i could go back 13 years, I'd want to soak up as much as I could. Languages, paintings, coding and etc. Girls admire guys with determination and success.

Things you take granted today are luxuries you don't have down the road. Concentrate on your studies and hobbies, don't get too distracted. At 16, you are simply not there yet emotionally, so don't date because of loneliness. You'll become overtly attached. It will feel good for a while, then it will crash down.

Just make friends, but make sure they are of good character. Surrounding yourself with positive people is far more beneficial than having a girlfriend.

I know it's hard. We've all had these raging hormones, and I certainly failed many times... Just make sure to keep your chin up if you stumble!

[Dutch]

Hello Bugle Beagle. :D

I met my other 'alf at work when I was 22, and we've been together ever since. I'm not going to say how long that is, for fear of appearing geriatric.

I'd say wait as long as you want, and address such things as education, career and ambition before getting involved.

I was going to join the RAF, then didn't because of a girl. Soon after that she dumped me, by which time I'd got on a different career path. You can imagine how much I now regret this decision!

Do what you think is right, but do it in such a way as to not upset your Dad. Dads are important people. :salute:

[ATAG_Knuckles]

I'm a little confused at this thread hummmm errr:

Where did I meet my wife ahhhh which one ????????

or what do you guys eat for breakfast

are you regular

do you eat your bugers

you get the idea :stunned:

[Doc]

I met her at a bar. :PP

[ATAG_Snapper]

I met my wife-to-be at a mutual friend's BBQ party. I was a late bloomer, never had a steady girlfriend through high school nor university. I suspect no girl wanted to date a guy named "Snapper".....

[ChiefRedCloud]

As an opinion and an anology, women/girls are like fine paintings. You view them with admeration and interest. But you want to make sure you select the right one to take home. This is achieved by not comprimising what YOU want out of life. No two people share all the same intersts as the other. However, there should be enough to build a foundation for life. Do not be overcome by the wealth of beauty in the world. Some times the actual beauty is in the spirit and not the body. Above all else, do not lie to yourself. If there is something, no matter how small, that you do not like about the potentual partner, address it. IF you lie to yourself (and potenually your prospective partner) you are doomed to failure.

In example (only) if you do not smoke (poor example but still) and she does, do not assume that YOU can change this later. For only that person can change THEIR habbits or taists. Address this upfront and see where it goes. Keep in mind, if this person is infactuated with you also, then she too is can lie to herself to gain what she THINKS is a logical course.

To break this down to simple terms, be honest and upfront with yourself and with her. If you do not, then you have about a 65% chance (or greater) of falure.

[9./JG52 Jamz Dackel]

Hi Steath Eagle..

I met my Girlfriend Sue at my house lol

I mean she came back to mine when I had an after party in the early hours after being to a night club...That was 5 years ago now..

Its probably the hardest thing you will do in your life..tackle relationships, its a roller coaster ride too :)

My advise:

Dont rush into anything, treat them as a Girl (friend) like she was one of your Boy (friends) then see what and if anything develops...your know

hth

[Old_Canuck]

Hi Stealth Eagle,

I met my wife 43 years ago While visiting her brother. We played a table hockey game together then went to a drive in movie where her Dad pulled in and parked on one side and her sister pulled in and parked on the other side. :goofy We eventually escaped our chaperones. Advice for a long marriage: after the romance cools, it's a plus if you're still best friends. Never go to bed with a grudge and always keep the communication lines open because the negotiations never stop.

More advice: jumping out of a moving car is not a recommended negotiating strategy.

Cheers,

OC

[71st_AH_Eagle]

Sorry folks for taking so long in responding. I haven't really had much time to write out a well thought out response. Thanks for everyone who responded. Now for personal replies. Sorry if some are longer or shorter.

Canuck: Thanks for the response and the advice on how to remain together.

Jamz: Thanks for your advice. I honestly don't really go to parties that much (none this year I believe) so that rules out for me getting one that way really. Here's a questions regarding your last statement: What if most of my good friends are girls not boys? I only have a couple of good friends that are boys and most of them are girls (I've been bullied several times in the past so that may be why I have that essentially friendships have swayed that way).

ChiefRedCloud: Very simple yet extremely helpful. I personally would not want to date anyone who smokes since the smoke makes it hard for me to breathe.

Snapper: I'm thinking that the same applies to me as well.

Doc: I'm underaged so that doesn't work for me. :doh:

Dutch: Thanks for the advice, that's similar to how my parents met each other.

Recoilfx: Real nice, real nice. Fact is, it is mostly my family that is pressuring me to get a girlfriend, not me. I personally have no one that I really am interested in as of now. My favorite hobby right now is music (one of my close friends that is a girl, calls me a music prodigy because of how many instruments I play. But let's say that we already have somewhat of a commitment with each other not to date each other really)

Septic: As I said earlier, I'm personally not the one do the looking, it's mostly pressure from friends and family to do such. I will be patient for as long as I need.

Thanks everyone yet again for answering and peace be to you.

Eagle :salute:

[MajorBorris]

Hey Stealth Eagle,

Meeting new people can be a challenge but it’s all about confidence and attitude and to not be afraid of failure (what’s to loose anyway right?)

As a young man I took every opportunity to practice witty conversation with any ladies I met, building on my confidence every time.

Warning: cheesy clichйs below

If you want to be a player you have to get into the game and practice whenever the opportunity presents itself! Just be relaxed and have fun!

Heck, getting shot down is half the fun when your buddies are around, nothing is more funny then when one of your buddies is at a gathering and says "watch this" before he heads over to 3 gals all out of his league only to come back empty handed but every once in a while that guy brings back all 3 of them and is hailed a hero forever!

Oh ya, ladies love a keen listener and will always notice your shoes, personal grooming and sense of style.


Good luck young man!

[JG52_Krupi]

Oh ya, ladies love a keen listener and will always notice your shoes, personal grooming and sense of style.

:stunned:

Damn, I am really screwed!

Now where did I put that inflatable doll :dazed:

[9./JG52 Jamz Dackel]

Jamz: Thanks for your advice. I honestly don't really go to parties that much (none this year I believe) so that rules out for me getting one that way really. Here's a questions regarding your last statement: What if most of my good friends are girls not boys? I only have a couple of good friends that are boys and most of them are girls (I've been bullied several times in the past so that may be why I have that essentially friendships have swayed that way).
Eagle :salute:

Well what I meant by that mate is look at them as friends first, your know if they are worthy of more than that :thumbsup: regardless whether they are boys or girls a friend is a friend but my point is don't go searching too hard because you WILL find a girlfriend but more than likely it wouldn't last but it all depends on what you want I guess

Might be hard trying to get one of your friends that you have now (in your friendship circle) so your have to start looking elsewhere...but remember your attitude is 'you wanna hang out' have that in mind and you cant be disappointed but you MAY be surprised

[71st_AH_Eagle]

Just bumping one of my old threads that I have.

I'm 17 right now and still am single but depending on how some things play out, I might, just might, have a girlfriend shortly. I had invited a close friend of mine to a somewhat tuba section and friends hangout somehow (don't ask how nerve wracking that was) and some things have changed. Right now my father and to a lessor extent, three of my friends, are wanting me to ask her out to like dinner or to a movie or something typical like that. I honestly don't know really what to do. Any advice for this?

Most of them say just do it and get it over with but I'm somewhat a little hesitant. If you want the reason why, I can say it but I would rather not say it unless someone asks me about it.

Sorry for bumping an awkward thread but I really appreciate the honesty of you guys and your help.

Thanks,
Орел

[92 Cdt. Kiwikillemoff (QJ-Z)]

Mr Eagle, I feel I can offer you my 5 Cents worth.

Firstly, asking a girl out is like many things in life, the fear before, can be all consuming, but once you step up and do it, you end up laughing at yourself due to how easy it was to do.

Second, remember if a the girl says no, don't take it personally. There could be a million reasons why, and I assure you they are normally nothing to do with you. Theres an old saying, "only the squeaky wheel gets oiled" That means if you dont ask you wont get an answer. Sometimes in life we have to step up and speak out if we want something; even if you may be a shy guy.

Thirdly, if the reason you are reluctant to ask is because of pressure from others, dont let their expectations put pressure on you. You are your own man, do what you feel comfortable doing. Do it for you, no one else.

If you have a girl in mind, ask your self do you get the feeling she may like you too? Ask most guys, if its genuine you know in your heart that she is interested, you can tell by the way she looks, touches and talks to you. If you can not answer that question then maybe its just attraction and nothing more.

If you're going to ask her out, keep it simple. If she likes you, a walk in the park or a coffee will be fine. Start there and if you guys get along then ask her to dinner etc. Just start with " hey I was wondering if you want to hang out? I really like you, maybe we can go for coffee or a walk sometime? Make sure you tell her you like her! So she is clear on what you are asking.

Lastly mate, dont tell anyone close to you what you want to do, so often their advice and good intentions make it worse, adding to the awkwardness you may be feeling.

The worst thing that can happen is she says no, two little letters. If she is a nice person then it will not be a major and you would of stepped out of your comfort zone and done something you felt nervous to do...that is a result; date or no date!

Hope that helps a bit mate, dont let it worry you, life is to short! Just roll with it and be yourself

Kiwi

[Osprey]

There is a very old saying in England

"Faint heart never won fair lady".

Women like a confident man...... If only I was 17 again......I'd still probably be cacking myself when it came to speaking to girls just like Raj from the Big Bang Theory :)

[92 Sqn. Philstyle (QJ-P)]

I honestly don't really have emotional strength to be able to ask anyone out but here's my question

Hi StealthEagle.

To be honest, many guys struggle with this. The whole system has traditionally been set up in a way the puts the onus on men to take the initiative and suffer the heat-break of rejection. It's fair to be anxious about approaching a girl to consider romantic involvement.

There's no one-size-fits-all solution unfortunately.

I wouldn't be going around asking girls out unless you really were genuinely interested in them. Treating people as simply accessories which one needs to have in order to satisfy the expectations of society (and even family) is poor form in my book. But that said, it is worth your while taking any opportunity to can to meet girls and become their friends - which often means spending less time in front of the computer ;)
If you're not a complete ass and you're capable of a normal conversation (about things other than WW2 aircraft), what you'll find is that, sooner or later you and a girl will start getting on a little bit better than is normal. You'll see a relationship approaching like a glider, skipping it's way among the thermals.

All you've gotta do is be of good character, and treat people with respect. And here I mean genuine consideration, not the self-asserting chauvinism that passes for "respect" in macho-land.

Sooner or later you'll just decide that the uncertainty from not asking someone out is more painful than how you'll feel should she say no. It's at that point that you'll take the plunge, whether you think you're ready for it or not. Then you either experience the joy of requited affection, or the pain of rejection.

Anyways, good luck.

[9./ZG26Eicken]

I don't really have anything more advice to give, I just wanted to say good luck in your womanly endeavours.

[Mattias]

But that said, it is worth your while taking any opportunity to can to meet girls and become their friends - which often means spending less time in front of the computer ;)
If you're not a complete ass and you're capable of a normal conversation (about things other than WW2 aircraft), what you'll find is that, sooner or later you and a girl will start getting on a little bit better than is normal. You'll see a relationship approaching like a glider, skipping it's way among the thermals.


+1 on that one :)

I doubt my wife to be (or the girls before her) would have been impressed if i tried to start a conversation about the leading edge slats of the 109 :-)

Cheers & all luck!/m

[LG1.Farber]

Hello everyone. I am Eagle, a 16 year lonely heart. I've never had a true girlfriend but several of my closer friends have been girls but my father is nagging me to get one. I honestly don't really have emotional strength to be able to ask anyone out but here's my question: how did you meet your current wife or girlfriend? Sorry for the question so awkward but I'm just curious. :recon:

Thanks,
Eagle

If you want a bird, first you have to square your mind away and realise that you cant just pick one and infatuate about her and she will like you.

Pick 10 that you like (not your friends ones or ones that are friends with each other) then just take a little extra time during your day to:

smile at them (once! not like some demented smilie following them around grinning). :D
Say in passing "Hey nice shoes" or "I like your hair".
Just say "hi".
Open a door for them (dont run infront of them to grab the door like a fool though, but when they walk through just place you hand very gently in the small of their back or on the elbow and guide them through.
If some one is berating them - stick up for them.
Listen to what she has to say, if you dont know what to say just ask a question about her (whats your favourite, movie, music, etc) or a something she just said.

If you get any negative signs first time might be a one of but second time is definatley a no thanks. - you have lost nothing, trust me. Try to avoid doing this infront of the other girls so they dont get crossed communication, so dont pick two girls that are friends. You will pretty quickly narrow it down to 5 then 3 then 1... Then you ask...

This way you get to see if you actually like them, not just find them pretty. :thumbsup:



Just bumping one of my old threads that I have.

I'm 17 right now and still am single but depending on how some things play out, I might, just might, have a girlfriend shortly. I had invited a close friend of mine to a somewhat tuba section and friends hangout somehow (don't ask how nerve wracking that was) and some things have changed. Right now my father and to a lessor extent, three of my friends, are wanting me to ask her out to like dinner or to a movie or something typical like that. I honestly don't know really what to do. Any advice for this?

Most of them say just do it and get it over with but I'm somewhat a little hesitant. If you want the reason why, I can say it but I would rather not say it unless someone asks me about it.

Sorry for bumping an awkward thread but I really appreciate the honesty of you guys and your help.

Thanks,
Орел

Ha ha I rang up a girl when I was 15 and talked to her on the phone about anything I could think of for about an hour for nearly every day of a week, o the romantic silences we had... I asked her to a movie, she said no... Girls will politley waste your time... Just ask her. Its a life experience, you will be fine.

[Mysticpuma]

This should stand you in good stead. Listen to the finale and you should have the perfect idea of what women want ;)


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CB9oLgv8xog

[HolyGrail]

Quote by Thomas Jefferson :
If you want something you've never had , you need to do something you've never done :)

[71st_AH_Eagle]

Okay, I just got home from school and I didn't expect it to be this many responses so thanks to all of you who responded. I don't have time right now to do an in depth response to each but I will try to later.

As in other things, there are some things that I think best needed to be explained to unconfuse the confused and confuse the unconfused (don't ask where that came from, just randomly popped in my head).

1. I can't really express emotions normally, I mostly do it through improvising music.

2. I can't tell if I actually "like" a girl.

3. It's not the pressure that I'm hesitant, it's for two reasons:
A. I used to be highly anti-social until I met her which she helped me a lot with my social skills.
B. I learned from a mutal friend that she had a bad boyfriend recently and she still is somewhat coping with it.

4. I saw her today for the first time since my father asked me to ask her.

I'll try to post something more in depth later. Sorry for the awkward thread and thanks for the advice.

Eagle